Have you ever met someone and instantly felt disliked without knowing why? It’s a peculiar phenomenon, often rooted more in the insecurities of the perceiver than the qualities of the perceived. As a leader, I’ve experienced this firsthand, and let me tell you—it’s no walk in the park. Yet, navigating this space has taught me valuable lessons about confidence, boundaries, and resilience.

Why the Judgment?

We live in a world where snap judgments happen in the blink of an eye. A person’s demeanor, appearance, or even their confidence can evoke unexpected reactions in others. For me, as an obese, confident female leader, I sometimes feel that my self-assurance challenges people’s preconceived notions. I’ve worked hard to build myself into the woman I am today—someone who loves herself, values her journey, and stands tall regardless of what others might think.

This confidence didn’t come overnight. It’s been a journey filled with setbacks, self-doubt, and ultimately, self-acceptance. And yet, it seems that some people struggle to reconcile my outer appearance with the strength I carry within. That disconnect can create discomfort, jealousy, or even resentment.

When Kindness is Met with Resistance

There’s an employee I’ve interacted with who seemed to despise me from the start. It was baffling at first—I had been nothing but kind and supportive. Over time, I’ve come to realize that their attitude likely has more to do with their own struggles than anything I’ve done. While it’s difficult to maintain professional boundaries in these situations, I remind myself daily of who I am and what I stand for.

That’s the beauty of knowing your worth—you don’t crumble under someone else’s negativity. Instead, you use it as an opportunity to reaffirm your values. I can care less what someone thinks about “Jacque” because Ms. Edwards, the professional, demands and deserves respect. And that’s not arrogance—it’s the confidence that comes from knowing the work I’ve put into my life and career.

Let’s Stop the Prejudgment

Here’s the thing: prejudging someone and tearing them down is easy. But what if we flipped the script? What if, instead of letting our insecurities guide our judgments, we sought to understand the person in front of us? Or, at the very least, what if we chose professionalism over pettiness?

The reality is, tearing someone down says more about the person doing the tearing than the one on the receiving end. Talking behind someone’s back instead of addressing them face-to-face doesn’t make you bold—it makes you a coward. Let’s normalize conversations, not gossip. Let’s prioritize understanding, not judgment. And let’s cultivate respect, even if we don’t see eye to eye.

A Call to Respect

In leadership, you learn quickly that not everyone will like you, and that’s okay. Your job isn’t to be liked—it’s to lead with integrity, humility, and respect. But that respect needs to be mutual. Whether you call me Jacque or Ms. Edwards, know that the person behind the name has earned her place and will continue to carry herself with grace, regardless of the noise.

So, to anyone reading this who has felt judged, dismissed, or undermined: remember who you are. Hold your head high. Know that you don’t have to dim your light to make someone else comfortable. And to those quick to judge, I challenge you to pause, reflect, and approach others with an open mind. You might just learn something extraordinary about the person you were so quick to dismiss.

As for me? I’ll keep leading, loving myself, and showing up as the confident, unapologetic person I’ve worked so hard to become. And yes, put some respeck on that name. 😊